We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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