I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
