I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
