Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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