My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
