ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
