Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I love having hate sex.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize