he looks like a really good dad on facebook
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
