we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
