I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Bring me that man meat
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
