But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
