I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
