I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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