I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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