Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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