just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
