His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
