Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
