Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Still dying that you shit outside
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
