Nicole vs. Life
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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