Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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