I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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