the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize