were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
