the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize