Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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