you win again, gameday.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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