ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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