it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
