you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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