I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
