i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
