I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
