First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
