can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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