We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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