I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I still have a little drunk in my system
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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