I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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