I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
