Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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