Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
