this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
BRING THE BAGELS
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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