ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
