The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
