i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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