Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
