M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
