me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
