if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it's like iHOP with fire
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
