He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
