I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
