The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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