wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
this must be what syphilis tastes like
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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