my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
