I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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