sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize