Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
organizing the empties. That sober.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
