i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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