I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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