Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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