Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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