hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
