we have officially lost it.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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