Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
