What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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