I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
