They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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