a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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