You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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