Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
