I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
