He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
