I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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